Rainbow jock
If you're wearing these, there'll be no doubt in anybody's mind which team you're hitting for.
Ass-revealing jeans
These leave plenty of room for a unicorn horn to poke out. Better buy that "Buns of Steel" tape now.
Glitter
If you manage to coat yourself in enough glitter, you can fart glitter along with the unicorns.
Shower shot
Flood those pesky unicorns right out in no time at all! It's like a re‑creation of Noah's Ark inside you.
Chihuahua
Need a little hell-raising bitch? Problem solved. Warning: likely to be trampled by the unicorns.
Singlet
Start wrestling and make certain you get pinned into submission in one of these.
Masquerade mask
Create an aura of mystique, for your face, anyway. Everybody knows what the rest of you looks like by now.
Plow boy t-shirt
I mean really, why stop at that? How about a shirt that just says, "Go Ahead Fuck the Unicorns Out of Me."
Sheer
If you can pull off this look, then you're expecting to have it pulled off.
Pink prophylactic
Just bend over and stop talking. Really, stop talking. It's hard to concentrate unless you shut up.
Sequins
Be the belle of the ball in one of these! We know you'll end up on the hood of a car afterward.
Pink latex thong
With this here, you can help those unicorns floss on their way out. But don't let that horn puncture the latex!
Britney Spears tattoo
Show off your tat while drunkenly belting out your favorite Britney karaoke song. Don't worry the unicorn will ride your drunk‑ass home.
Louisville slugger
Yup, you guessed it, that's where it's gonna go. Careful, though, don't anger the unicorns; they'll rip you a new one!